Monday, March 8, 2010
This past weekend was a rough one.
My wife is having some trouble with nursing, and I did not respond the right way.
Saturday night Hoss was up more than usual, wanting to nurse. But since it hurt so much, my wife was trying to help him go back to sleep without having to nurse. She was in a lot of pain, so it makes sense to me.
After a couple kicks in the back one time (from Hoss), I had finally hit my tired/frustrated point and went into the guest room to sleep. My fuzzy logic was this: I couldn't help my wife in anyway at that moment. So I figured I should go and get some quality sleep so in the morning I won't be short tempered and can watch Hoss so she could sleep.
It sounded better in my exhausted head at 3 something in the morning.
So the next morning my wife was pretty upset, and rightfully so. The feeling of being so helpless can really render me immobile. It's the mindset of 'well, I can't do anything, so I'll do nothing'. And that will make matters worse.
Conclusion to story and something I will definitely keep in mind if this should happen again: my wife said the way I could have helped would be to just encourage her.
I think my male mind was telling me to fix the problem by doing something, and it didn't occur to me that the solution would have been to listen and encourage my wife.
I can be such an idiot.
In college I read much of Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus by John Gray (link below). If you have never read it, I highly recommend it. There are so many helpful insights for both the male and female thought process, that it would be something worth owning. It has helped me discover many of the ways I approach a situation that I was not even aware of. And it helped me understand and accept the differences in how men handle different scenarios than women.
If I had remembered some of that book on Saturday night, we wouldn't have had such a rough Sunday morning, in fact.
Here is the link, and again, I highly highly recommend it:
Thanks, and God bless...
My wife is having some trouble with nursing, and I did not respond the right way.
Saturday night Hoss was up more than usual, wanting to nurse. But since it hurt so much, my wife was trying to help him go back to sleep without having to nurse. She was in a lot of pain, so it makes sense to me.
After a couple kicks in the back one time (from Hoss), I had finally hit my tired/frustrated point and went into the guest room to sleep. My fuzzy logic was this: I couldn't help my wife in anyway at that moment. So I figured I should go and get some quality sleep so in the morning I won't be short tempered and can watch Hoss so she could sleep.
It sounded better in my exhausted head at 3 something in the morning.
So the next morning my wife was pretty upset, and rightfully so. The feeling of being so helpless can really render me immobile. It's the mindset of 'well, I can't do anything, so I'll do nothing'. And that will make matters worse.
Conclusion to story and something I will definitely keep in mind if this should happen again: my wife said the way I could have helped would be to just encourage her.
I think my male mind was telling me to fix the problem by doing something, and it didn't occur to me that the solution would have been to listen and encourage my wife.
I can be such an idiot.
In college I read much of Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus by John Gray (link below). If you have never read it, I highly recommend it. There are so many helpful insights for both the male and female thought process, that it would be something worth owning. It has helped me discover many of the ways I approach a situation that I was not even aware of. And it helped me understand and accept the differences in how men handle different scenarios than women.
If I had remembered some of that book on Saturday night, we wouldn't have had such a rough Sunday morning, in fact.
Here is the link, and again, I highly highly recommend it:
Thanks, and God bless...
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