Friday, March 5, 2010
Just had a fun night with some of our neighbors down the street. They are a great family of 5 with a set of twins as the youngest. It was really encouraging to me because the dad is a great guy and I feel like we have much in common (possibly more with them than I do with some of my relatives).
They did do time-outs, and count downs to time-outs, which I guess works for them. I've always felt just so-so about time-outs. It always struck me as kind of the middle ground between spanking and not spanking. I'm not really sure how effective it is, as I don't know a lot of parents who use time-outs, or know them or their children enough to form a conclusion.
But I know they would consider themselves in the attachment parenting group. After having a week of some serious feelings of parental loneliness (at least in the real world), it was refreshing to have them over and their kids just run around and be kids. I walked into our front room and there were toys literally everywhere. And it was a great sight to me.
Tonight was also great because we were able to build a better friendship with our neighbors. It's sad to me that we have such a lack of community in the United States. Most of the 'urban' challenges we face (crime, poverty, etc.) could be lessened or eradicated in some cases with the increase of community. Knowing who your neighbor is and befriending them goes a long way in the location that you live. But this blog isn't about urban issues or community development, though both are very close to my heart.
It would be nice to have a group of fathers that I could get with and just hang out. I don't think there are a lot of those types of groups around because it marries two ideas that society has pretty much ingrained in our minds about men: they don't need help, and they don't put more effort into raising children than the mother does.
Hopefully I'm wrong and there are groups. I think I'm too tired right now to try and find out. So, please, if I'm wrong, correct me! I would love to know about groups out there that are for fathers (it would be nice if it were attachment parenting/grace-based discipline fathers, but right now, anything would do).
Thanks and God bless...
They did do time-outs, and count downs to time-outs, which I guess works for them. I've always felt just so-so about time-outs. It always struck me as kind of the middle ground between spanking and not spanking. I'm not really sure how effective it is, as I don't know a lot of parents who use time-outs, or know them or their children enough to form a conclusion.
But I know they would consider themselves in the attachment parenting group. After having a week of some serious feelings of parental loneliness (at least in the real world), it was refreshing to have them over and their kids just run around and be kids. I walked into our front room and there were toys literally everywhere. And it was a great sight to me.
Tonight was also great because we were able to build a better friendship with our neighbors. It's sad to me that we have such a lack of community in the United States. Most of the 'urban' challenges we face (crime, poverty, etc.) could be lessened or eradicated in some cases with the increase of community. Knowing who your neighbor is and befriending them goes a long way in the location that you live. But this blog isn't about urban issues or community development, though both are very close to my heart.
It would be nice to have a group of fathers that I could get with and just hang out. I don't think there are a lot of those types of groups around because it marries two ideas that society has pretty much ingrained in our minds about men: they don't need help, and they don't put more effort into raising children than the mother does.
Hopefully I'm wrong and there are groups. I think I'm too tired right now to try and find out. So, please, if I'm wrong, correct me! I would love to know about groups out there that are for fathers (it would be nice if it were attachment parenting/grace-based discipline fathers, but right now, anything would do).
Thanks and God bless...
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