Tuesday, February 9, 2010
Well, here we go...
Our son - whom I'm now naming Hoss for this blog - has a cough he may have picked up from his cousins. It is hard to bear when he is sick in any form. Not only because he is physically ill, but it also brings to the surface a constant issue I feel I have as a father:
a feeling of helplessness
Maybe many fathers feel this way, but sometimes I wonder if it is also because of our parenting choices that add to it. I mean, by design I put a high priority on time as a family so I feel almost too much guilt when I sit in the bathroom and play Doodle Jump on the iPod to get some alone time in.
But I think it hits hardest when Hoss only wants to cuddle with my wife and not so much with me. It feels like it's because she can nurse him and that's really what he wants, whereas I can't really do that....obviously. In theory she could pump, but that process is a lot of work with minimal results for her so it's not really an option.
This is probably one of the hidden 'costs' of our parenting decisions, but that's alright. There are other costs that we're glad we don't have to worry about paying down the line...
Sorry if this isn't really helpful in any way. This blogging kind of makes me feel vulnerable. But that is a quality I want Hoss to see modeled in a male figure. We don't have a lot of male vulnerability being advocated these days. I think I might pick up Tender Warrior
again. If you haven't read it, you definitely need to check it out. Or if you have read it, what do you think? How does it apply to you as a model for your children?
Our son - whom I'm now naming Hoss for this blog - has a cough he may have picked up from his cousins. It is hard to bear when he is sick in any form. Not only because he is physically ill, but it also brings to the surface a constant issue I feel I have as a father:
a feeling of helplessness
Maybe many fathers feel this way, but sometimes I wonder if it is also because of our parenting choices that add to it. I mean, by design I put a high priority on time as a family so I feel almost too much guilt when I sit in the bathroom and play Doodle Jump on the iPod to get some alone time in.
But I think it hits hardest when Hoss only wants to cuddle with my wife and not so much with me. It feels like it's because she can nurse him and that's really what he wants, whereas I can't really do that....obviously. In theory she could pump, but that process is a lot of work with minimal results for her so it's not really an option.
This is probably one of the hidden 'costs' of our parenting decisions, but that's alright. There are other costs that we're glad we don't have to worry about paying down the line...
Sorry if this isn't really helpful in any way. This blogging kind of makes me feel vulnerable. But that is a quality I want Hoss to see modeled in a male figure. We don't have a lot of male vulnerability being advocated these days. I think I might pick up Tender Warrior
again. If you haven't read it, you definitely need to check it out. Or if you have read it, what do you think? How does it apply to you as a model for your children?
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
0 comments:
Post a Comment